I didn't expect that leaving teenage would be that tragic. I was caught off guard..

A friend told me to just be happy for her but how could I be happy if I know that she would be happier with me. Because those sweet lies, where the ones I'm holding onto. Keeping a good grip on it.

That guy just took advantage of the situation. I will never accept a defeat in a battle where I wasn't even given the chance to fight.

After all...

"Cause it's not over till it's over, every ending's a new beginning, one more chance to get it right, one more chance to get it wrong. It's not over till it's over, sometime's nowhere leads to somewhere and it all starts again in the end."

I'm still fucking hurting..

It hurts to think that I was left oblivious of what had happened. That you gave in for that very short span of time.

God knows how much I wanted to move on, but every time I close my eyes I see the image of you and me, happy. I can't just let go of things that give me a clear grasp of you. The only way I see so somehow I can feel that we are still connected.

"What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you?"

"Happiness is a journey, not a destination; happiness is to be found along the way not at the end of the road, for then the journey is over and it's too late. The time for happiness is today not tomorrow."

Despite the failures, I'm choosing to be happy. It's not easy but I will try. For the greatest love I can give, I'm giving myself a chance.

Happy birthday to Me!

06-15-2011.

Today, it came to my knowing that something I’ve been wishing not to happen did happen. Now, my supposed-to-be-special day was ruined. Well, it was already busted last night and after knowing that, it was completely fucked up!

All this time, I’ve been hoping.. waiting for the right time to act . But I figured out that I was just day-dreaming. And while I was dreaming, she’s having that right time with someone else. It hurts. More painful that being left behind. It feels like wounding a scar that hasn’t been healed before.

My mind is really fucked up. I even think that all those words were just sweet lies, lies that kept me hoping. Bullshit!

Don’t I have the right to be happy? Even on my birthday. I admit, I’m the sole responsible for what happens. But why do I always fail on this? To think, I’m not stupid. And I guess I’m not like an ugly looking stick guy. In fact, I was perfect according to her. Oops I forgot, those were just lies.

On a lighter note, I thank my friends for spending few hours with me during my birthday. My family, who are always there to love me. I just hope that this will pass..

I have no grudge on her. I just love her so much. I’m just currently not on my proper state of mind but I'm still completely sane.

SAD TRUTH :

Today should be special, and the happiest day of the year for me, but I feel completely opposite.

What's the drawback of postponed quizzes? It's feeling anxious for the second time whether you'll pass or not, which you might have known earlier. And delaying it doesn't make any difference since you don't exert any additional effort..

I'm starting to feel this school year's pressure. In fact, I got sick on the 2nd day of classes and I've just recovered. Right now, I wish for good health and a fruitful 2011.

Few more days, I'll be leaving my teenage. Two decades of existence and it keeps getting better..

MD

"All our dreams can become realized if we have the courage to pursue them in spite of our fears."

This is it! I think I'm going to pursue Medicine.